I Tried to Tell Her

She asked me what I was thinking

I tried to tell her
Of dying flesh breathing
Of illusionary beings only pretending life
Of dark alleys full of bad ass lies
Of toyguns and handcuffs

I tried to tell her
Of god and the beast
Of pop culture junk talk
Of needle razor sharp crystal awareness
Of post-acid delusions and devastation
Of nuclear nihilism blood streets chanting
Of pornographic hardons naked innocent flesh
Of virgin blood soaking deep into pores

I tried to tell her
Of the garden of dreams
Of Death's cruel vivid imagination
Of vampyres rabid in climax
Of snakes copulating in thornbush
Of wet sticky jism on your chin and my clammy hands
Of the heartache that never goes away
Of blind children playing through my mind
Of spraypaint art musk
Of every white wall pissed on

I tried to tell her
Of the center of the universe
Of the point
Of the I
Of yesterday
Of duality salt and pepper
Of the ultimate penis
Of power and energy without the bills
Of order in chaos
Of Pan's pawn
Of cutting arms off with Karmic Chainsaws

I tried to tell her
Of living and dying, not just posing
Of chocolate princesses and rain goddess drowned
Of the raven mocking stupid cousin crows
Of everybody dying in suicide
Of dead as in shed of skin
Of flowers from a graveyard

I tried to tell her
Of words stomped into splinters
Of sweating profusely as blood cakes up to the elbows
Of the City for Gods lying in dust shit waste
Of chains to earthly hell
Of smokering forms in Time
Of content full space
Of drumbeat echoes of a soul
Of restless sleep eternal
Of animal sacrifice red wine plastic arches golden

I tried to tell her
Of nothing
Of "i don't know"

I tried to tell her
but she could not hear.

(May 1988)

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Spoken by the Author, the poem is available in .mp3 format. HERE